According to the Federal Government, whose official motto will soon be changed to “Trust Us, We Know Better Than You Do”, the BP oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico is now just a fading memory. An astounding 75% of the gazillions of gallons of oil that leaked into the Gulf has now been “collected, dispersed, or evaporated”. A full three-quarters of the messy, toxic goo has been taken care of already. That amazing turnaround is just unbelievable. And I mean that in the literal sense that I don’t believe it.
Where are my skeptics? Where are the conspiracy buffs who thought that President George W. Bush personally blew up the levees in New Orleans? What about those of you who were sure that he knew the 2000 election would come down to one county in Florida and strategically planted his operatives there in advance?
OK, I get that the crazies on the Left have no interest in uncovering an Obama conspiracy, but what about their equally unbalanced conspiracy nuts on the Right? Are you so busy searching for President Obama’s birth certificate that you have no time for a bona fide cover up when it comes along?
I’m not claiming to be the world’s foremost living expert on the dispersing of oil in salt water. In fact, there may be two or three more qualified experts alive today. I’m just saying that we, the People, are being awfully trusting when Big Brother tells us that his magic skimmer has collected three quarters of the unknown amount of oil that has spread over an unknown distance in a vast body of water.
If I were the White House Press Secretary, I would immediately call a press conference to announce that 75% of the illegal aliens in the US have been detained, incarcerated, or deported. Oh, and 80% of the national debt has now been paid. It’s all good.
