There—I said it.  Sue me.

Okay…in all seriousness, it happens every December: one of the most pathetic and sorry examples of Political Correctness out there.  I’m referring, of course, to the effort to suppress Christmas in the public square—to the point of not even saying “the C word”.

When I was younger, we were worried about “X-mas”.  Now…“X-mas” is technically much ado about nothing.  Its roots are pretty interesting: see, as it turns out, the “X” isn’t really an “X”.  It’s actually a Greek “chi”…which was often used by ancient Christians as shorthand for “Christ”.  (“Chi” is the Greek for “ch”….)  So…it’s perfectly okay.  I mean, at least people read it aloud as “Christmas” (for the most part).

Nowadays, we have to deal with “Happy Holidays!”

To be clear: there is absolutely nothing wrong with “Happy Holidays!” in and of itself.  It’s the secular-progressive oddball who makes it a point to drop “holiday” instead of “Christmas” that makes it so cringe-worthy.  “I’m going home for the holiday.”  “Have a good holiday.”  “We’re having a holiday gift exchange.”  And here’s my favorite: “We’re setting up the holiday tree.”

I’m sure you’ve heard by now of the Governor of Rhode Island who made it a point to set up a “holiday tree”, not a Christmas tree.  Despite the outcry, he’s holding firm, asserting that he’s being “tolerant”.  Fox News’ Jesse Waters caught up with him…and at first the governor tried to explain himself.  But when Jesse asked, “So…what’s the holiday?”—he ran off.

A few years ago, Disney had a cartoon called Buzz Lightyear of Star Command.  An awesome show, based on a classic character.  Except the Christmas episode wasn’t a Christmas episode.  It had Santa, the elves, the presents, the snow—everything but the word “Christmas”.  Instead, it dropped “holiday” to the point of parody.

Now, in theory, “Happy Holidays!” is supposed to cover all the bases: Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Three King’s Day, Ramadan, New Year’s Eve…and maybe Boxing Day.  Still…the tree, St. Nick, the elves, the eggnog, the wreath, the lights, the presents—they’re all things traditionally associated with one holiday, in particular: Christmas.  And…as Glenn Beck noted, heaven forbid (religious invocation!) our culture starts calling the Menorah…a “holiday” candelabra!

Next, here’s my favorite euphemism for Christmas: “Season’s Greetings!”  First time I saw that on a card, I just scratched my head, and thought, “Okay…that’s weird.”  It doesn’t even sound right…it’s like something that belongs in a tongue twister.  Fortunately, you only see this on “official”, professional stuff—you know, things that aren’t really supposed to be “cheery”.

But the winner for “Most Pathetic ‘Christmas’ Euphemism Ever” goes to…“Winter Solstice”.  Atheists love dropping that.  And in case you’re wondering, it’s not via cheerful greetings—no “Happy Winter Solstice!” or “Have a good Winter Solstice!”  Nope…here’s what the atheists have:

“At this season of the winter solstice, may reason prevail.  There are no gods, no devils, no angels, no heaven or hell.  There is only our natural world.  Religion is but myth and superstition that hardens hearts and enslaves minds.”

Feel the warmth, people.

Anyway, these chronic Scrooges have an annoying tendency to self-righteously display this glorified “Bah, humbug!” next to public Nativity scenes.  Of course…you never hear of them setting up, near a Santa-and-sleigh, a plaque reading: “There is no Santa Claus and Reindeer don’t fly!  Santa Claus is but myth and superstition that keeps children from thinking critically about objective reality.”

Nope.  Instead, they go after faith—constantly accusing it of “hardening hearts”.  Inasmuch as the typical atheist spokesman is a smug, obnoxious brat who rants and whines whenever he’s challenged…that’s a pretty amusing accusation to make.  And of course…there’s the plaque, in the first place.  What are they trying to do—announce to the world how militant and childish they are?

They won’t even say “Happy Holidays!”

(By the way…I know Canada has a “Winter Solstice” festival.  They’re welcome to it—they’re nice folks, over there; the intent’s probably different.)

You get the idea.  Look, I don’t know about you…but I’ll keep my Christmas—as Christmas.  Call me “intolerant”—but I like what I like.

So, Merry Christmas, everyone—and a Happy New Year!

The Winners Who Wowed us and the Losers who Left us Lacking this week:

Winners:
Mitt’s Mighty Message
Mitt Romney was the front runner for the Republican Presidential nomination for a while in 2008, but eventually his Washington-outsider credentials failed him. Romney’s 2012 campaign has been low-key until now, quietly getting the job done. But he stepped back into the spotlight in Thursday’s Republican Presidential Debate. Romney gave the performance of the night and came across as presidential (as opposed to, say, Tim Pawlenty, who was just whiny and combative). Can Republicans across the fruited plain dare to start dreaming of a Romney-Bachmann ticket?

Paul’s Prestigious Polling
Ron Paul must be riding high these days. I’m sure it feels nice to have your name listed among the most popular and likely candidates for the Republican Presidential nomination. The latest Rasmussen Reports poll  (before the debate) has Paul in third place among likely Iowa Caucus voters and first among those who consider themselves “absolutely certain” as to which candidate they will support. It won’t last, of course. Enjoy it while you can, Congressman Paul.

Losers:
Desperate Defensive Democrats in Despair
The Democratic Party loyalists would never let a good crisis go to waste. So they have mobilized to spin the Standard and Poor downgrade with far more vigor than they spent trying to avoid it. Their current tactic is to simultaneously argue that Standard & Poor is a useless, vindictive organization that had no reason to downgrade the US other than poor math skills and that Standard & Poor was right to downgrade the US because the Tea Partiers are such irresponsible knuckleheads. Even the most fickle electorate can see through this new low in finger-pointing desperation.

Prosperous Public Pensioners
Three hundred and twenty-nine retired California public officials will have their overly-generous pensions reduced as a result of an audit conducted by the state retirement system this week. The main reason seems to be employers who overstated the employees’ income in order to boost the retirement benefit – up to $500,000 per year.

Downtown Detroit Departures
Detroit has 25% fewer residents than it had ten years ago. Now those who remained in the city have 25% fewer representatives in state government, too, thanks to redistricting triggered by the 2010 census. Insult + Injury = Detroit.

Winners:

Foxconn Technology Employees – The 12 year old kids and impoverished grandmas in Taiwan who work for $.08 an hour to make your iPods, iPhones, and iPads have a seriously high rate of suicide – go figure. Foxconn, their employer, has thoughtfully provided a solution. They’re going to replace their whiny, strike-prone employees with robots. Now the workers won’t be so frustrated with their jobs that they’ll want to kill themselves… because they’ll be completely unemployed and preoccupied with not starving to death. There’s nothing quite so eloquent as the Taiwanese idea of a win-win solution.

Losers:
Satan – Nancy Pelosi called the default-saving debt deal a “Satan sandwich with Satan fries on the side”. Given the choice, I think most Americans would take the sandwich. At least you could cover up the devil taste with enough mayonnaise. For the first time in world history, a comparison has been made to Lucifer that is unfair to the Prince of Evil himself. Interestingly enough, when reached for comment in Hell, Satan called the deal a “Pelosi Sandwich with extra Pelosi sauce”.

Joe Biden – Joe Biden may or may not have referred to Tea Partiers as ‘terrorists’. The alleged comment came in a closed door meeting of Democrats, which means that someone within his own party is the source of the leak that has the Joe in hot water. The Vice President’s office first “no commented” then sort-of-but-not-quite-denied it. Now VP Biden is in the unenviable position of sitting in the cross hairs of Sarah Palin and Michelle Bachmann. Funny thing, no one disputes that Pennsylvania Representative Mike Doyle used the T-word to describe the Tea Party during the same meeting, but no one seems to care. I’m not sure if that makes Doyle a political winner for avoiding the flack or a loser for being irrelevant.

Winners:
Apple – It was widely reported this week that Apple Computers has $76.2 Billion in cash and cash equivalents while the United States Treasury (pictured) has just $73.8 Billion cash on hand. When you’ve got more money than the U.S. Government, you’re doing all right. Or the U.S. Government is doing really, really bad. Let’s be optimistic and say that Apple is doing well.

Hugo Chavez – Venezuela‘s president turned 57 this week and vowed to maintain his control over the country for another two decades. Pretty feisty for a man with cancer whose main hobby is taunting the most powerful nation on earth.

The Philadelphia Eagles – OK, this belongs on our sports site, not here, but man did my Eagles score big in free agency this week.

Losers:
President Obama – Barack Obama lost this week – lost thousands of Twitter followers, that is. His re-election campaign staff so overused his Twitter account this week that even loyal Democrats got fed up with it. There’s only so many ways to say “Me good, Republicans bad” in 140 characters or less.

The Good Citizens of the United States of America – As the US Government inches ever closer to default, We the People are being led down the path to higher interest rates.

The Gang of Six – This bipartisan group just recently looked like the solution to the budget impasse that is crippling the federal government. Now they look no more influential than any random six members you pick from congress.

Winners:
Boneheaded Politicians – This was a good week to be a typical bonehead in politics. With 23.75 hours a day devoted to coverage of the Casey Anthony trial, politicians could get away with anything short of shooting up a McDonald’s with a machine gun this week.

Dominique Strauss-Kahn – Did he do it? I don’t know, but he’s a free man this week. I guess the moral of the story is if you are going to be a lecherous lout, choose an unreliable nut-job as your victim.

The Dalai Lama – Unlike his last visit to the US, the Dalai Lama is getting a nice welcome this time around.

Losers:
Barbara Boxer - Her sad little revisionist history speech was rejected by all but her most ardent supporters, and there aren’t as many of them as there used to be. She wasn’t alone in playing the “blame it on the other guy” game by any stretch - President Obama and House Speaker John Boehner were two very visible contestants this week. But Boxer’s peculiar spin was just the most egregious. The general public has lost the stomach for the infighting and finger pointing at a time when the government is on the precipice of a historic and humiliating failure.

The FAA – The FAA had the audacity to treat 124-year-old Republican Senator and amateur pilot James Inhofe like a mere mortal bound by the same rules as the rest of us. As a result, Inhofe has introduced a bill limiting the FAA’s oversight over pilots in a variety of ways that mean nothing to the 99.99% of us who don’t have pilot’s licenses, but managed to take up valuable time on the Senate floor – time that could have been used to, oh, I don’t know, come up with a plan to responsibly raise the debt ceiling and reduce the deficit.

Losers:
Rod Blagojevich – Two is not Blago’s lucky number. His second trial ended with him becoming the second former Illinois Governor in the last 5 years to be convicted and imprisoned. Maybe he and fellow disgraced former Governor George Ryan can share a cell.

Orlando Mayor Buddy Dyer – Dyer’s decision to lump humanitarians handing out food to the homeless – without a permit (GASP) – in with Osama Bin Laden and the Unibomber has aroused the ire of “Anonymous,” a mysterious group of hackers. Anonymous has now set its disruptive sights on Orlando, which probably means that Disney soon takes a hit. If that’s the case, Dyer is soon going to learn a valuable lesson in Central Florida politics: “If Disney ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.”

Winners:
The People of Iowa – Regardless of your politics, if you’re a resident of Iowa you’re being showered with attention from the 2012 candidates right now. Memo from the other 49 states: it must be nice to feel wanted.

Michele Bachmann – I’m still not on the Bachmann bandwagon, but there’s no doubt that she is riding a political high right now. Even as the press turns less friendly to her, she’s rising in the polls and garnering a significant following that will result in a political windfall in one form or another down the road.

Mormons – Harry Reid, Mitt Romney, and now Jon Huntsman are all in the news this week in a largely positive, or at least neutral, light. When the word “Mormon” repeatedly appears in the news without the words “polygamy” or “cult” anywhere in sight, it’s a good week for them. Plus, two of the three have the potential to move up in the world of politics in the coming months and years.

Bristol Palin – The 20-year-old, initially famous only for being the pregnant, unwed daughter of a Vice Presidential candidate, has done quite well for herself recently. She finished third on Dancing with the Stars, despite the fact that she can’t dance. Now she can add “Best Selling Author” to her resume, despite having no previous writing credits to her name or compelling story to tell.

President Barack Obama

“Thank you. Thank you, everybody. Thank you.” (Applause.) [Applause.] {We’re not rude. He is the President of the United States of America, after all.}

“It is wonderful to see all of you. I’ve got a lot of friends in the room here. People who knew me before anybody could pronounce my name.” (Laughter.) [Polite chuckle.]

“People who knew me before I had gray hair.”(Laughter.) [Strained polite chuckles.] {We didn’t elect you Comedian-in-Chief. Get on with it.}

“We had to save an auto industry. I never expected to be a automobile executive.” (Laughter.) [Glaring.]

“Over the last 15 months we’ve created over 2.1 million private sector jobs.” (Laughter.) [A different, more cynical kind of laughter.] {Why did the Dems laugh at this line? Is Obama’s voodoo math an inside joke to them?}

“We are saying to schools…” {really long run-on sentence here} “…make sure that every single one of our young people are equipped to compete in a 21st-century economy.” (Applause.) [Applause.]

A lengthy speech about all Obama’s great achievements in two and a half years drew no discernable reaction from the DNC Crowd, until…

“And that {continuing the greatness that was his first 30 months in office} may be a little bit of challenge — because, let’s face it, back in 2008, I was new. (Laughter.) [Stony silence.]

Now I’m gray. (Laughter.) [Scattered polite chuckle.] {You said that already. If you’re going to do standup, at least keep it fresh.}

The old posters are all faded. (Laughter.) People make fun of hope and change. [Laughter and mocking calls of “Hope and change”.]
And some folks have said, well, change didn’t happen as fast as I wanted, or it’s not exactly as I expected, or why can’t he just change the minds of all those Republicans. (Laughter.) [Scattered booing.]

“And so if you’re willing to join with me in what will be my last campaign…” (laughter) [Wild, uproarious applause that continue on for several moments]

“So, thank you very much, everybody. Thank you. Thank you.” (Applause.) [Applause.]

WINNERS

Jerry Brown

Bravo to California Governor Jerry Brown for standing up to his own party.  The Democratic controlled State Legislature sent him a bill that, according to Brown, “contains legally questionable maneuvers, costly borrowing and unrealistic savings.”  The bill contained exactly the sort of financial chicanery that Brown had vowed to keep out of the budget, and Brown had little choice but to veto if he wanted to retain any credibility.

Chris Harris

Texas State Senator Chris Harris has become both hero and villain this week for his widely-publicized chastising of a Mexican immigrant who spoke in Spanish through an interpreter during a committee hearing.  Those who want to vilify him point out that the USA has no official language.  Those who praise him remind us that the immigrant in question has been in the US since 1988 and ought to know the language fluently by now.  Our judgment: more hero than villain.  23 years is more than enough.

Michele Bachmann

Minnesota Congresswoman Michele Bachmann got an immediate jump in the polls when she followed up her official announcement with a strong showing in the Republican debate.  Let me be the first to tell you: it won’t last.  The media’s puzzling affinity for Bachman – maybe they’re just trying to prove that they  don’t hate all Republican women, just a certain former Governor from Alaska – is sure to fizzle as soon as the newness wears off.

LOSERS

Jerry Brown

Democratic Governor Jerry Brown vetoed a budget written exclusively by his own party and yet still managed to blame the minority Republicans.  In his words, the failure to pass a budget – a goal that was within his power regardless of any actions by the GOP – was “a tragedy for which Republicans will bear full responsibility.”

Anthony Weiner

Career over.  I wouldn’t wish anyone out of work in this economy, but I have a feeling the former Congressmen will do OK.  At least he’s got Huma to support him.

Vancouver

The riots after the Stanley Cup loss were a disgrace.  Let’s not pretend otherwise.  Stop making excuses.  Stop blaming a shadowy society of mystery anarchists.  You’re just embarrassing yourselves now.

Fertilizer:

Anthony Weiner
What a disgrace New York Representative Anthony Weiner turned out to be. Even by the higher standard of obnoxiousness used by New Yorkers (and don’t think we don’t love you for it), Representative Weiner is over the top. His stubborn refusal to resign in the face of a scandal that will certainly render him distracted and ineffective for the remainder of his brief political career is just disgusting. I do feel sorry for his pregnant wife, though.

The Republican Party of Wisconsin
The Republican Party of Wisconsin is recruiting party loyalists to run as Democrats in the state’s upcoming recall elections. Their plan is to force the Democrats to spend their time, money, and effort on an unnecessary primary. Dirty politics is nothing new, of course, but the openness with which the GOP is perpetrating this sham is a new low.

Rose:
Senator Harry Reid
I haven’t had much (any) occasion to praise Harry Reid in the past. His disdainful, elitist leadership of the Senate was a major factor in the national dissatisfaction that swept so many Republicans into office in 2010. But I’ll give credit where credit is due – his handling of the Anthony Weiner debacle was spot on. The advice he’d give Weiner if he called asking for it? “Call somebody else.” Classic.

Sarah Palin
Sarah Palin is not going to be president. She’ll probably never be elected to any national office. I think she knows it and doesn’t care. She’s having the time of her life, tooling around the country in a bus and irritating the crap out of the national press. She teases them, she chastises them, she makes fools of them, and they keep coming back for more. The media, for whatever the reason, has such a blinding hatred and consuming obsession with her that they’ll go down like Captain Ahab trying to disqualify her from running for an office that she really has no intention of seeking.

Hillary Clinton
Hillary Clinton’s name was in the news associated with a sex scandal, but her husband wasn’t involved. Wouldn’t you love to be a fly on the wall as she advises and consoles her employee and fellow jilted wife Huma Abedin (Mrs. Anthony Weiner and soon-to-be mother of his child)?

Those are the aromas of success and failure as smelled by your intrepid columnist this week. Leave a comment below & let me know if you agree, disagree, or if I left someone off the list worthy of mention.

What I’m referring to is this perverse and unwarranted media and societal fascination over a “scandal” that involved Democratic representative of New York, Anthony Weiner and his Twitter account. Let’s get the pleasantries out of the way, shall we? At some time on May 27th, a picture of some dude’s neatly wrapped genitals in gray boxer briefs was posted to Weiner’s Twitter account (yes, it’s an unfortunate name to have for this sort of thing). If you absolutely must see it, you can check out Google Images (WARNING: NSFW).

Of course the congressman originally denied the allegations, claiming that his Twitter account was hacked. As of Monday, June 6th, however, Rep. Weiner admitted to the dirty deed. This reeks of the Bill Clinton bit – dude fouls up in a ridiculous way, initially denies it and then admits to it and somehow we’re supposed to be outraged over this? People who aren’t in government or business or entertainment pull this crap all the time. Why the Hell is this news to anyone other than his wife?

Is he an idiot? Yes. Is he a bad husband? Absolutely. Does this really require anything more than an LOL and a change of topic? No.

Here’s my take on it:

The media has a short history of sensationalizing things that tend to garner ratings. This, in turn, creates a sense that these issues are more important than they really are. The correct term for this sort of disgusting, anti-journalistic BS is “witch hunt.” Don’t get me wrong here – I’m not saying that the media necessarily has anything against Anthony Weiner. That’s not the point, because it’s irrelevant how the media at large feels about the man. The point of these witch hunts is to pique the interest of the unthinking majority so they leave the glowing box of stupidity on nice and loud. That way, they can take in all the advertisements and rubbish the television spews at them and never begin to care about anything that even remotely matters.

There’s lots going on in Syria, but let’s talk about Anthony’s Weiner.

I’d imagine that this all began in the early-90s, with the Michael Jackson kid-toucher scandal and the televised Gulf War, that every American got to enjoy with popcorn and soda. Suddenly, the media companies realized that if they could put enough soap opera-esque crap on the screen, those in the public with a double-digit IQ would eat it up and keep the TV on.

Apparently, they were right.